1a. is what you want if you’re looking for classic Jim Carrey, but holds up pretty O.K. as a “TBS on a Saturday afternoon, why not” kind of choice. Though some of the scenes are just, . The characters have to be grounded in kind of reality, right? Like, Lloyd in this scene:
I’m to believe an actual person, who has failed so thoroughly at a job for which he was so clearly unqualified, is also so self-delusional that he’s going to call someone a loser? That person doesn’t exist in real li—oh …
That is from the NFL’s own in-house media arm—an operation that usually goes out of its way to avoid such stories—which is the latest indication of how well Urban Meyer’s first season in Jacksonville is going. But in light of those alleged comments, I was curious to see precisely is a loser among Jacksonville’s staff (which, by the way, was assembled by Meyer).
Ergo, here is the rank order of career winning percentage as a coach at the highest level of professional football among the Jaguars’ current coaching staff. Meyer's name is in bold, in case you're having trouble locating where he falls:
1. Nick Sorensen, Special Teams Coordinator: .639 (89–50–1)*
2. Zachary Orr, Outside Linebackers Coach: .605 (46–30)
3. Sterling Lucas, Assistant Defensive Line Coach: .587 (54–38)
4. Darrell Bevell, Offensive Coordinator: .548 (181–149–2)*
5. Bob Sutton, Senior Defensive Assistant: .526 (183–165)
6. Will Harriger, Offensive Assistant Coach: .520 (64–59–1)
7. Brian Schottenheimer, Passing Game Coordinator: .493 (171–176–1)
8. Kyle Caskey, Offensive Quality Control Coach: .460 (85–100–3)
9. Todd Washington, Assistant Offensive Line Coach: .457 (64–76)**
10. Joe Dannam, Defensive Backs Coach—Nickels: .432 (95–125)
11. Bernie Parmalee, Running Backs Coach: .426 (87–117)
12. Sanjay Lal, Wide Receivers Coach: .419 (99–137)
13. Carlos Polk, Assistant Special Teams Coordinator: .391 (61–95)
14. Joe Cullen, Defensive Coordinator: .386 (91–145)
15. George Warhop, Offensive Line Coach: .3374 (139–273)
16. Tim Walton, Secondary—Corners Coach: .3372 (58–114)
17. Tosh Lupoi, Defensive Line Coach: .273 (12–32)
(tie)18. Urban Meyer, Head Coach; Charlie Strong, Assistant Head Coach and Inside Linebackers Coach; Tyler Bowen, Tight Ends Coach; Quinton Ganther, Offensive Quality Control Coach; Chris Ash, Defensive Backs Coach—Safeties; Patrick Reilly, Defensive Quality Control Coach: .167 (2–10)
24. Tony Gilbert, Assistant Linebackers Coach: .107 (3–25)
That is a lot of losing records on the staff (again, assembled by Meyer), but unless Meyer was really giving it to assistant linebackers coach Tony Gilbert that day, he doesn’t have much of a leg to stand on.
And if I’m a guy who has won games—or even a Super Bowl—at the highest level of professional football, and I’m getting the business from a guy with a 2–10 career record, claiming he’s a winner and/or implying I’m not, then yeesh… I can see how that ends up getting leaked to the league’s in-house media arm.
1b. It takes a leader of men to, well, lead men—that’s probably where the phrase comes from. College players serving in what’s essentially an unpaid internship role, coming into your program as teenagers, are not fully formed adults. And in college the power dynamic, especially in the pre–transfer portal days, is tilted heavily (some might say outrageously) in favor of coaches.
That’s one reason coaching in the NFL is different than coaching in college. In the college game, you also often have a huge disparity in talent from team to team, especially if you coach at, say, Ohio State, a program often littered with 300-pounders who can move like the 200 pounders at a school like Rutgers. In the NFL, the talent is fairly evenly distributed throughout the league, and often games are decided by which sideline has the superior tacticians.
Coaching in the college game has its own unique challenges. But to succeed in the NFL, you must be able to manage and motivate grown men, and must be able to build a scheme—and craft a weekly game plan—superior to the often very good coaches on the opposite sideline. Twelve games into his professional football tenure, Meyer has not proven himself capable of either of those things.
That above passage from the league’s in-house media arm isn’t exactly Meyer bragging to his middle-aged coworkers about how cool he was in high school, but puffing your chest out because you won games in the Big Ten a decade ago comes uncomfortably close to that vibe.
1c. Two other things from that league in-house media report: (1) How in the world do you alienate Marvin Jones? The veteran receiver is an absolute pro’s pro, the kind of guy 31 other coaches could plug onto their team and get noting but good things out of it. But, more problematic is (2) Meyer’s continued lack of accountability when it comes to all of this. Most recently, the bizarre decision to bench James Robinson as if Robinson’s fumble last week against the Rams was the first mistake the team has made this season (or, as if Carlos Hyde belongs on the field). The fact that Trevor Lawrence—the most important and only indispensable person in the organization—was willing to speak out about the mismanagement of Robinson is something Meyer should take as a bright and garish warning sign.
1d. Also, since any good joke needs a clarification, I am indeed exaggerating with the Urban Meyer–Lloyd Christmas comp. However! It’s a coin flip which is more absurd: Meyer splitting summer reps between Lawrence and Gardner Minshew in the name of faux-competition or the fender bender that costs Lloyd his job as a limo driver.
